Tracy's Story — Team Share a Spare

Kidney donor Tracy Poplizio and her husband and recipient Nick, are all smiles with their kids after successful surgeries.

Name: Tracy Popolizio
City/Town: Marlborough, Connecticut
Age at Donation: 42
Occupation: Author/Speaker/Teacher/Educational Coach
Date of Donation: March 27, 2019
Hospital and Location: Hartford Hospital, Hartford, Connecticut

Did you know your recipient?
Yes, it was none other than my hubby, Nick.

What made you decide to donate?
A few things. Honestly, I’m sort of a control freak, so I wanted to be the one to do it and nobody else! Haha. But also, I guess when it came down to it, why wouldn’t I? It was my husband’s life we were talking about.

Was it a tough decision?
At first, I remember thinking, “No way, I can’t do that.” I don’t even like needles! I had both my children naturally and the only procedures I’ve had were an endoscopy and colonoscopy. How the heck could I do something like that? I’d never make it. But then, after it sank in, and we both accepted that this was going to happen, I thought, “Why not me?” After all, I am his help-mate.

What were your biggest concerns about donating?
I think the biggest concern for me was that I wouldn’t be able to donate for some reason. First, it was that we wouldn’t be a match. Then after each test, it seemed they found something “wrong,” (a cyst, possible kidney stones, etc). At each intersection, I worried that something would come up to prevent this from happening.

How did your family and friends react when you told them you were going to donate?
Nick was happy, of course. And I know his mother was thrilled. I didn’t ask my family, but I think while they were very supportive, they were also concerned for both of us. After all, he was already sick and we had a sixteen and fourteen-year-old to think about. I’m not sure how the kids felt, but I do know as we got closer to surgery time, they both hid their concerns very well (from us, anyway).

How did your surgery go?
The surgery went exactly how we prayed it would go—perfectly. Within minutes I remember family members telling me how wonderful he looked once he was wheeled into recovery. Nick’s numbers dropped immediately—in a good way—and there were no complications for either of us. I don’t remember how long my surgery took, I think around four hours, a normal amount of time.

Nick and Tracy, recovering in the hospital after their kidney transplant and kidney donation surgeries.

What was your recovery like while you were in the hospital?
The first memory I have after waking up is telling my father I felt like I got hit by a truck. Having my family (my mom, dad, sister, mother-in-law, and later, kids) around me helped me initially that first afternoon.

My sister pulled my hair up and rubbed my head and shoulders, and I remember other family members also stepping in to rub my shoulders. They really ached and the staff told me that would probably happen initially from the air they filled me with. I felt ok as long as I was laying in the bed being rubbed.

Later, when Nick was in recovery too, I tried getting up to go see him, but the nausea and dizziness that swept over me when I tried to stand kept me bound to my bed. I was very tired and slept a lot that evening. The next day was a bit better, except I needed to pass gas and it wasn’t happening. The nurse kept asking me, and I kept telling her I burped, but I guess that wasn’t good enough.

All the staff were wonderful and so encouraging. The best part about the hospital recovery was at 10:00 the first night, my nurse woke me to check my vitals and told me I had a visitor. While I still felt pretty bad, I was overjoyed to see Nick walking in to my room, pushing his IV cart, like it was nothing!

What was your recovery like at home?
I had asked the nurse for another night in the hospital, so I came home two days later—still a day before Nick. The first night I slept on one couch, and my mother on the other. I really don’t remember much about the beginning except I needed to rest a lot and napped each day.

I like to do things, so it was very difficult for me to let others wait on me. I initially wanted to go pick Nick up the next day, but I remember I didn’t have the strength or energy to do that. My pain was ok as long as it was managed with a heavy-duty medication for a few days after. Tylenol became my best friend for weeks. Mostly it was for the reconnections of the nerves that felt like nails scratching inside my stomach.

I will say, the best part of recovery at home was once we got past the first few days of recovery at home, the best part is that it was like an extended staycation for both of us. Each day we had our routine: appointments in the morning, family or friends over to help with laundry, etc, food delivery, a little “Fixer Upper” on TV with lunch, then naptime until the kids came home from school. It was wonderful!

What was the most difficult part of recovery?
Most people would think it was that both hubby and I were laid up at the same time, but it wasn’t. The kids were great helpers, and our family and friends were great. For me, the hardest part was not feeling like myself for as long as I did. I'm very active and energetic and before surgery, I thought this would be a piece of cake and I’d be back to my old self in no time. I became frustrated when Nick took deeper breaths than me on the little machine they gave us, and when I needed to sit down after walking hunched over down the driveway and back. I really thought I was different and it would take me less time than they told me. It was also difficult to allow others to wait on Nick and not be able to help him with his own recovery.

When did you return to work?
After eight weeks. I'm a preschool teacher and did not want to take any chance of being accidentally hit in the stomach or lifting something I shouldn’t without thinking. I wanted to give my body the recommended time to make sure I could perform my job. As it was, the first couple of weeks were very exhausting and I needed to sit a little more often while teaching.

How long was the process from making the first contact about donating until your surgery?
Our first appointment for Nick was January 8, and by February 1, I had my first donor appointment after finding out I was a match. We scheduled surgery for March 27. The only thing that took a while was the wait time from when we called to schedule Nick’s appointment (which was September). When we told them how long we waited, however, the coordinator was shocked and very apologetic that it took us that long to get in.

Is there anything about being a kidney donor that's surprised you?
Two things. One, it really is true, it did take a full year to completely heal and recover, as I was told it would. While I feel a lot better, I know I’m still not 100% back to where I was before. But I know I will get there! Two, I was surprised to hear my husband tell me how I’ve changed in his eyes since the surgery. He called me his guardian angel. To me, I’m just a wife who loves her husband and would do anything for him.

Would you do it again?
In a heartbeat…if I had an extra kidney!